Some people believe they have a right to be loved by others while some believe to receive the love of others, you should actually be a loveable person yourself. Whatever your opinion, if you are struggling to give love or receive the love of others, here is a self-improvement blog entry that addresses the issue.
11 ways to become a loveable person
Be Fair: Believe in fair play and practise fair game. This is usually called The Golden Rule and found in Matthew 7:12 it advises “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. This means if you want to be respected you must be ready to respect others, if you don’t want people to gossip about you, don’t gossip about others, if you want people to be good to you, be ready to be nice and kind to them as well. Always practise thinking about the other person and be unselfish in your thoughts.
Be Thoughtful: When you think good thoughts towards people, you are often motivated to do good things for them. Doing things for them can include giving gifts, visitations, praying for them and many other thoughtful gestures. Philippians 4:8 sums it up as “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things”. Thinking good thoughts is healthy and results in performing good deeds.
Be Joyful: “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” says Proverbs 17:22. A joyful person is a delight to have around. They lift up the atmosphere and others around them. Those who lack joy are usually moody and morose and not a delight to be around. Joy flows like a fountain from within those who have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, an attitude of thanksgiving and a determination to be happy.
Be Temperate: The temperate are mellow people who are not intoxicated but can achieve an emotional balance and arrive at an equilibrium. They are not easily carried away, are not prone to panic attacks and do not suffer from worry or anxiety. People usually look up to them for their mature disposition and balanced emotion. Their lives are free of stress and tension because they know how to take one day at a time as described in Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”. Being temperate comes from the assurance that you are in God’s everlasting arms.
Be Resilient: Displaying passion and following things through to the end is always very admirable. As God’s children we are called to dwell in faith and live in hope. Resilience is an attribute of the believer because his belief lies in the promises of God and his hope in their manifestation. Philippians 4:13 declares that “I can do all things through him who strengthens me”. Resilience keeps you going because your strength is drawn from the promises of God’s words.
Be careful with your mouth: You must be able to discern when to be silent and when to speak because not every word is necessary. The bible describes the tongue as an unruly evil and quite so as many friendships have been broken, many homes destroyed and much offence has been recorded because of words spoken carelessly. Work extremely hard on communicating effectively by asking the Holy Spirit to control the way you frame your words. Proverbs 21:23 says that “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity”.
Be approachable: This means letting people know you are available and there for them should they need you. It doesn’t have to mean going the extra mile all the time, it simply means people are aware you are someone they can count on or someone they can rely on when they have a need. Everyone needs help and assistance at some point so it’s always a good feeling to know there‘s someone there. 1 Peter 4:9 sums it up as “Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay”.
Be Realistic: The bible warns that offences are a normal part of life and will surely come. When we are realistic about the strengths and weaknesses of others, it will be easier to understand them and relate with them. A wise quote says “don’t blame people for letting you down, blame yourself for expecting too much from them.”
Be Content: Counting other people’s blessings instead of your own eventually leads to bitterness, envy, jealousy and an inferiority complex. People who display these negative emotions are usually unhappy with the tendency to be insecure and threatened by the success of others. Proverbs 14:30 warns that “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones”. These toxic emotions cause decay of the body, soul and spirit. Contentment however is the ability to be glad concerning where you are, to be appreciative of where you have come from and to be thankful of where you are going.
Be filled with the Holy Spirit: Filling yourself with the Holy Spirit manifests outwardly as flowing rivers of living water. Ephesians 5: 18-19 says “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ”. The indwelling of the Holy Spirit brings depth into the life of a believer and equips the believer to worship God in spirit and in truth. When you are filled with the Holy Spirit, you experience joy in deep measure and manifestations of the fruit of the spirit.
Be ready to address your personal shortcomings: Refrain from giving excuses, reasons and defending yourself. Acknowledge and accept that certain aspects of your attitude, behaviour and character need to change. We cannot demand love from others, but we can work on ourselves. Its time to put an end to the pity party and give up the “I’m a victim” mentality. Galatians 5:24 says “Those who belong to Christ Jesus crucify the sinful nature with its passions and desires.” The only thing that is constant in life is change so it is wise not to resist change. Change does not happen immediately however, it is a gradual continuing process which results in a glorious transformation.
Apostle Paul describes love as the most excellent way. There are depths and heights to love and only God can show us how deep love is. Instead of lamenting that no one loves you, draw wisdom from this wise quote “your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find the barriers within yourself that you have built against it”.